1. When are you happiest with your kids?
2. What part of the normal day with your family routinely causes suffering?
Then make sure your day is structured so that you get routine, habitual happiness and so that you're eliminating habitual pain.
This suggestion comes from expert happiness sociologist & mom, Christine Carter. "Rather than trying to solve problems in her family, she wanted to prevent them."
Check out the news article here:
http://health.yahoo.com/featured/84/two-simple-ways-to-be-a-happier-parent/
Okay...
So here goes.
My turn.
I am happiest with Amelia on Friday mornings. I am "off" work that day, and generally try to find an out-of-the-house activity we can do together. Sometimes that just means a walk around the mall and a food court lunch. Or we have playtime with friends. Or occasionally, we go to the inflatable bouncy play place. On Friday mornings, I can focus entirely on my sweet little girl without feeling pulled in too many directions at once.
The part of my usual routine that causes "suffering"? That one is easy. It's when work needs are hectic. This isn't the case every single day, but it does happen often. I have a job. It doesn't matter if that job is only 12-15 hours a week. I still have people counting on me, client deadlines, and something to focus on independent of Amelia. If she's at school and IF she takes a nap (a big if these days), I usually do okay. But when a deadline is looming and Amelia wants my attention, I come very close to a breakdown. And I admit, some days I really have broken down. On a couple days in the not-so-distant past, the stress really came to a head. I sat in front of my computer and cried.
So here's where Ms. Carter's plan baffles me. How do I get habitual, every day happiness like I can on Fridays when I work? And how do I eliminate daily (or almost daily) suffering without quitting my job? I like to work, and I want to stay current in the ever-changing world of advertising & media. Quitting isn't an option - or even a want.
Does this mean I'm just screwed?
I guess I'll keep trying to work this one out on my own.
2 comments:
I have no idea....but I did put that book on my amazon wish list! I'm hoping it makes my life a little easier as well...Thanks for the info!
It's a great idea, and I'm sure she knows her stuff. I can see how this kind of thinking/planning would be really effective when the happy moments & stress moments are personally controllable. But when it's work... that may be another story entirely. Hmmm.
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