What a mommy will do

My heart breaks when my girl is in pain. I don't like scrapes, I don't like head bumps, and I especially loathe hand, foot, & mouth disease!

Our introduction to the nastly little virus began on Thursday, with a letter home to parents on blue copy paper:

"Dear parents, We wish to inform you that a student in your child's class was diagnosed with hand, foot, & mouth disease this morning..."

OK, great. So we'll be super vigilant and keep an eye out for symptoms.

Friday night, Amelia was quite a little meanie. We held out hope... maybe it's just a cold? Saturday morning, Amelia slept in really late. We gloated about how lucky we were to get extra sleep that day. But on Sunday, we were greeted with red blisters when we looked in her mouth. And now there are blisters on her hands and bottom.

Hello, HFMD. You are not welcome here.

Amelia is in a lot of pain.
She is hungry, but cries if she drinks or eats. "My tongue hurts, Mommy! My tongue hurts!" My precious girl is in pain and there is nothing I can do to help her. She's too young to understand that we just need to wait. She wants Mommy and Daddy to fix it. And fix it now.

I wish I could.

Amelia slept for a couple hours initially last night. Then she woke up crying. Daddy got her back to sleep rather quickly, but an hour later we heard the sobs again. So, despite knowing I would be miserably uncomfortable all night, I grabbed a bunch of blankets and my pillows and camped out on her bedroom floor.

She kept crying. She kept whining. She kept repeating, "Mommy, my tongue hurts!". She would give in to sleep once in a while, but the sleep was fleeting each and every time.

Meanwhile, my hip hurt. My shoulder was throbbing. The ticking of Amelia's nightlight clock was driving me insane. I was getting a headache from lack of sleep. But I stayed. I tossed and turned on her floor, ready to assure her I was by her side should she cry again. And cry she did. Cried and cried and cried. From 1:00 a.m. until at least 4:00.

I think we slept for 90 minutes. We were awake again before 6:00 a.m. Now we're trying to go through our day, although Mommy is a zombie. It will, undoubtedly, be a cuddles & movies kind of day.

If Amelia cries again, I may need to cry with her.


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A plague over our hosehold (mommy vs. vomit)

That's what it feels like, anyway. Steve and I have been catching and cleaning up vomit for the past 3 hours. Poor Amelia is very sick. I am broken hearted. And I'm starting to reconsider my opinion that the science museum was such a good idea yesterday. She may have taken home more than knowledge!

We put our girl to bed, and we're hoping & praying that she can sleep the night without throwing up again. She passed out almost immediately, so wish us luck.

Wow, things like this really make me question my ability to be a good mom. I completely panicked when she was throwing up. It was so violent, and she threw up 5 times before her little body could calm down. I started to cry and couldn't find a bowl in my own home. My brain just went blank! Steve was awesome, though. This wonderful man, usually a complete germaphobe, was catching it in his hands. He scrubbed her clothes and all the dishes and bleached the sink area afterwards. I cleaned Amelia up and got her in clean clothes (which got nasty again 90 minutes later).

I really need to work on my panic issues. Not sure how things would have been different if Steve hadn't been home. Maybe I'd find the strength to do what I needed to do all by myself. Single moms out there.... you must be super heroes. I am in awe. Hopefully I get a pass on this one since I'm a first-time mom. Maybe next time I'll be stronger.

Tomorrow is another day. I will strive to be the rock that my baby girl needs. But I'll also be the squishy teddy bear when she just needs cuddling. It's all about Amelia tomorrow.

Nothing like a ton of vomit to put things into perspective.