Sunday, March 6, 2011

Reflection

I can't see her anymore.

I stand there, staring. Peering deeply into the mirror.

But I can't find her.

I see the same brown eyes, but my vision drifts to the crinkles around them.

I see the dimples, but only when I force a smile.

I see thick brown hair, but again my vision drifts. It drifts to the crazy gray ones sticking here and there.

I step back. I scan the whole image.

But she's still missing.

I see a mom. Amelia's mom.

I see a provider of snacks and hugs.

I see a person who spends entirely too much time and energy thinking, worrying about toilet habits.

There? Is a woman who can pack a lunch, a suitcase, or a toy bag in 3 minutes flat.

This reflection? Shows an organized, efficient, dependable person.

Someone who will never let you down.

Someone whose heart may break, but only silently. Never burdening the outside world.

I search the image in the bathroom mirror. I gaze into the hallway mirror. And the car mirror.

The person I see is a good one. A good mom, a loyal wife. A hardworking, respectable employee.

But I miss her.

I try, oh how I try... but I can't find her.

I can't find me.

8 comments:

amber said...Best Blogger Tips

Oh, lady. I feel you. It's hard when there are so many pressures on you, isn't it? I think we all struggle with this one. I know I do.

Jen said...Best Blogger Tips

It so easy to get lost in motherhood. Get a babysitter and go out and treat your long lost friends, me myself and I, to a night out.

Get to know her again.

Samantha said...Best Blogger Tips

So very true! I understand what you mean totally.

Kenzie said...Best Blogger Tips

Beautifully said dear friend! I'm having the same struggle to find self again. She's in there...and after baby 2 gets here I will focus more on getting her back into my life. ;)

mrs.shopper said...Best Blogger Tips

following u on gfc/facebook. Coming from relax & surf blog hop please follow me at www.simplyshopandsave.ca

Valery (CEO Wanna Be) said...Best Blogger Tips

Stopping by to say hi from the Relax & Surf Sunday
Stop by any time. I love that post
http://thisnthatboutiqueblog.blogspot.com/
http://www.etsy.com/shop/ThisanThatBoutique

TexaGermaFinlaNadian said...Best Blogger Tips

Wow, beautiful and sad at the same time. This one will be with me for a while!
Stopped over from Say Hi Sunday. Have a great one!
http://texagermanadian.blogspot.com/

Kimberley said...Best Blogger Tips

Hi there! What a great post. Thanks for sharing such an intimate thought and feeling. New follower from Sunday hopping. Drop on in and see me if you get the chance, thanks!

Kimberley

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