Revisiting my happy list

If you just can't get enough of yours truly, click on over to Typical Suburban Family and check out my guest post!

I wrote my happy list at the start of last summer. I've made a few tweaks, but for the most part these things still make me smile. A happy list never expires!

What are your favorite things to brighten your day?

Somewhere

She sits in the corner, all alone.
Nothing to do, no one to call her own.
All she can do is sit and stare,
Huddled in her world of bleak despair.
The world is dark, the rain pours down,
Sadness fills the air.
For when she needs someone the most,
You are never there.

I wrote this poem when I was 11 years old. I was a sensitive child, to say the least. Often struggling with feelings of loneliness and and a major lack of self-worth. I had (and still have) a supportive, loving family. My parents were (and still are) attentive and caring. But something in my pre-teen heart just felt sad.

My very best friend and I were locked hand-in-hand since age two. We were friends as well as neighbors. I could even see her house from my parents' bedroom window. The summer before 4th grade, she and her family moved to Florida. My family was on vacation the day they left. I remember feeling like I did not get to say goodbye. Through 5th grade, I was in a small Catholic school. We never had a class with more than 10-15 students. So when Christine left, I didn't have any new friends to take her space. I got in trouble quite a bit in 4th grade, lashing out because I felt angry and alone. It helped to meet so many new friends in middle school, but those hormonal years were difficult for many more reasons.

In 1986, Universal launched the movie An American Tail, a story about a young immigrant mouse who became separated from his family upon arrival to America. Throughout the movie, he faces unknown dangers and battles his fears and loneliness.

The feature song from that film is a classic. A beautiful tune performed by Linda Ronstadt and James Ingram, Somewhere Out There was my theme song for several years. It gave me hope and made me feel less alone.




I still adore this song.  Now, it makes me smile.

Moving on?

What would it take for us to pack up and move?

Well, a better housing market for one. I would rather sell our home than give it away.

We would also need a very large truck and some hulky men to haul our furniture to the new location. After eight years, we have settled into our first house quite nicely - which means we have a ton of stuff. (Remember the college days, when eveyrthing you owned fit into your car?)

But more importantly, it would take a pretty solid guarantee of improvement. It would take a job that can utilize my husband's mega brains and talent as well as keep him happy and available for his family.

No one tells you in college that work... well... sucks. No matter how much you love what you do, it becomes just work after a while. It eventually gets old. When children become the #1 priority in your life, work is just another pull away. Just another thing nibbling at your time (and sanity).

No one tells you that, if you demostrate a decent work ethic and use your brains, you will eventually land yourself in management. Management, where you do much less (if any) of the actual work you once loved and instead deal with more budgets, reports, and personnel issues that you ever knew existed.

My husband is an awesome worker, detail-oriented and always reliable. And our little family is happy where we are. He is busy at work and always feels that tug of home life pulling at his sleeve, but we're appreciative of what he has and what he is able to provide for us. We are lucky to have a solid income to keep our family comfortable. But sometimes we can't help but wonder what our life would be like downsized.

Could my husband and I both work part time? Could we embark on a journey towards "Equally Shared Parenting"? Could we move out of the city suburbs and into a smaller town where pressures are less and cost of living is cheap? Could we do more for our girl by giving her less material things and more togetherness?

We are open to moving one day... but Atlanta is a wonderful place for us right now. What would it take for us to pick up and move? A guarantee of togetherness. A guarantee of comfort. A guarantee of true happiness. A guarantee of reduced stress. Maybe even a white picket fence.

Does that really exist? Has the competitive capitalist nature of the modern world burned away that utopia?

I really don't know. But I will keep dreaming!

Visit Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop for more writing prompts!

Attention, please

I'm guest posting over at Single Mom On A Budget today, talking about giving your child some quality *you* time.  So first, click on over HERE to read and leave your comments. Then go play with your kid(s) if they're home.

Single Mom On a Budget is also on TWITTER and FACEBOOK

Reflection

I can't see her anymore.

I stand there, staring. Peering deeply into the mirror.

But I can't find her.

I see the same brown eyes, but my vision drifts to the crinkles around them.

I see the dimples, but only when I force a smile.

I see thick brown hair, but again my vision drifts. It drifts to the crazy gray ones sticking here and there.

I step back. I scan the whole image.

But she's still missing.

I see a mom. Amelia's mom.

I see a provider of snacks and hugs.

I see a person who spends entirely too much time and energy thinking, worrying about toilet habits.

There? Is a woman who can pack a lunch, a suitcase, or a toy bag in 3 minutes flat.

This reflection? Shows an organized, efficient, dependable person.

Someone who will never let you down.

Someone whose heart may break, but only silently. Never burdening the outside world.

I search the image in the bathroom mirror. I gaze into the hallway mirror. And the car mirror.

The person I see is a good one. A good mom, a loyal wife. A hardworking, respectable employee.

But I miss her.

I try, oh how I try... but I can't find her.

I can't find me.

Weekend Recap

Hi friends!

Thanks for coming by 3MomsIn1.com today! Did you miss something this week?

Check these out:

• Potty Training: Part 3 - includes some potty training tips.
• Weekend relaxation in the sunshine. 
• Then came my version of a mid-life crisis.
• Wordless Wednesday: happiness in the small things.
•  For writer's workshop, I shared my top ten must-haves for spring.

Also, if you missed our day at the zoo last month, you can revisit our adventure via today's feature on Toddle Toots! I'm honored to be there. Thanks, Mama Toots!

F2F Friday: Mommy Talk Show

 Welcome to another Friends to Follow Friday!

Today I'm happy to spread the word about Mommy Talk Show. A new and unique blog, created by a former TV news anchor and a fellow Georgia mommy.

Blog name? Mommy Talk Show

When was your blog born - and why? 
I started posting in December 2010. So it's a very new blog. Mommy Talk Show was born out of my need to feel useful professionally. I'm a former TV news anchor so I'm used to going out and meeting new people everyday. Staying at home with my son along with being a newlywed in a new city made me feel very isolated and lonely, so I created something to combine my professional skills (TV news) and my passion (Motherhood).

The show features Atlanta moms who own their own businesses as guests. We tape the show family-friendly locations. Thanks to the video content on my blog if I ever return to my TV career I'll have plenty of material to show a potential employer.


I actually tried to start a very different blog in 2009 and failed miserably. So I had to push a lot of self-doubt out of my mind to start Mommy Talk Show. I believe this is such a better fit for me. When we wrapped up taping the last segment of the premiere webisode of Mommy Talk Show I was in tears. I felt useful again and productive. Plus I'd just spent an hour with a wonderful group of moms talking openly and honestly about our challenges.

My husband, a TV promotions producer, videotaped the show and I could tell the moms were making TV magic because he was behind the camera nodding, smiling and looking very engaged.

If you could interview anyone for your blog, who would it be? 
Hmmmm...someone alive or dead? Just kidding! I'd love to interview Elisabeth Hasselbeck from The View. I actually met her a few years ago when I was in the audience of the show and got to appear on camera and tape a "teaser" of what segment was coming up next. I don't agree with her politically. But I have a ton of respect for her as a mom of three with a TV career. Maybe I can learn some work-life balance tips from her.

The writer behind the words - five adjectives that describe you?
Hungry, Sleepy, Dedicated, Loving, Lonely

Something that recently made you laugh?
My son A.J.'s giggles when I tickle him made me laugh and make my day. I usually hit an brick wall in terms of energy around 7 p.m. after being home with him all day. So if I get in a good ticklefest the sound of his delighted delirium lifts my spirits and gets me through his bath time, then I eat dinner and pass out.

A favorite photo? Tell us about it.

This is a photo of my son, A.J. and my husband, Antoine. It was taken at the first birthday party A.J. attended. It shows my husband's adoration for my son. They have such a loving relationship that's quite different from my relationship with our son. My husband like to play rough with A.J. to toughen him up. I'm always being gentle with him. So I guess we offer him the Yin/Yang of life.


Like Mommy Talk Show on FACEBOOK

Follow Mommy Talk Show on TWITTER

And don't forget to go visit MommyTalkShow.com!