Moving on?

What would it take for us to pack up and move?

Well, a better housing market for one. I would rather sell our home than give it away.

We would also need a very large truck and some hulky men to haul our furniture to the new location. After eight years, we have settled into our first house quite nicely - which means we have a ton of stuff. (Remember the college days, when eveyrthing you owned fit into your car?)

But more importantly, it would take a pretty solid guarantee of improvement. It would take a job that can utilize my husband's mega brains and talent as well as keep him happy and available for his family.

No one tells you in college that work... well... sucks. No matter how much you love what you do, it becomes just work after a while. It eventually gets old. When children become the #1 priority in your life, work is just another pull away. Just another thing nibbling at your time (and sanity).

No one tells you that, if you demostrate a decent work ethic and use your brains, you will eventually land yourself in management. Management, where you do much less (if any) of the actual work you once loved and instead deal with more budgets, reports, and personnel issues that you ever knew existed.

My husband is an awesome worker, detail-oriented and always reliable. And our little family is happy where we are. He is busy at work and always feels that tug of home life pulling at his sleeve, but we're appreciative of what he has and what he is able to provide for us. We are lucky to have a solid income to keep our family comfortable. But sometimes we can't help but wonder what our life would be like downsized.

Could my husband and I both work part time? Could we embark on a journey towards "Equally Shared Parenting"? Could we move out of the city suburbs and into a smaller town where pressures are less and cost of living is cheap? Could we do more for our girl by giving her less material things and more togetherness?

We are open to moving one day... but Atlanta is a wonderful place for us right now. What would it take for us to pick up and move? A guarantee of togetherness. A guarantee of comfort. A guarantee of true happiness. A guarantee of reduced stress. Maybe even a white picket fence.

Does that really exist? Has the competitive capitalist nature of the modern world burned away that utopia?

I really don't know. But I will keep dreaming!

Visit Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop for more writing prompts!

I should be napping

I really should. I should be chilling out on the couch, nothing but silence coming from the baby monitor, my eyes closed. But am I napping? Of course not.

I have some kind of ridiculous obsession with finding things to do. Even when I am caught up on work and chores, I manage to waste time on Facebook. Or email. Or, like this very moment, I have a blog post to write. And 99.9% of the time, right as I have finally decided to take a quiet moment all to myself, I hear that little sweet voice from upstairs.

"Mommy?" Mommmmmmy?"

She seems to know exactly when to wake up. To make sure I have wasted every precious second of her naptime on stuff that I may or may not have needed to do.

Today I am going to relax. As soon as I finish this post. Last night, I was lucky enough to have a girls' night out with three neighbor/mommy/friends. We had some margaritas and yummy white queso dip. I had a BBQ chicken taco that was a little bit spicy and quite yummy. And the four of us, we laughed. We laughed about our husbands (in the nicest possible way, honey). We laughed about our kids. We actually conversed on subjects that had nothing to do with our kids (imagine that!). And we talked about how another neighbor's kid may or may not wear a swim diaper in our community pool (I seriously hope so). And the drunk neighbor who once could not find his own home. It was a really good time. Something we need to do much more often.

I was out way beyond my usual self-imposed curfew. These days I barely make it to 10:30 before crawling into bed. We got home around 11:10. I had a fabulous no-stress sleep. And now I am greedy for more "me" time. I could use a little more rest.

So here is my announcement: I am going to take a nap!!! I have no ability to nap longer than 20-30 minutes, but I'll take what I can get. Yay for calm & rested Mommy! See ya later.

Who am I?

"So, tell me about yourself."

I thought this was an easy question to answer. I'm Amelia's mom. And Steve's wife. I work a little bit in the advertising industry. I'm efficient. I'm reliable. That's who I am.

So, imagine my surprise when I got completely & utterly stumped by a follow-up question recently:

"Of course you're Amelia's mom. And Steve's wife. But, who is Julie? Tell me about YOU."

Huh.
Ummmmm...
Well, let's see...

You know what? I'm not sure I know. I want to be all things to all people. I want to be viewed as a success in all my various facets of life. I am the person everyone thinks I should be. Or at least I try my hardest to be; there are likely several ways I do not measure up in many people's eyes. I am human.

I am thrilled to be Amelia's mom. And Steve's wife. I am blessed in a million different ways. But maybe, just maybe, I should try to find the Julie in me again. If for no other reason than to answer that question.

So, can you answer it? Who are YOU?

ESP (not the sixth sense kind)

In a post a few days back, I mentioned buying some magazines to support our niece & nephew in their school fundraising efforts. Travel + Leisure came in first, prompting my travel-related post and a trip down vacation memory lane.

I just received the other magazine, Scholastic Parent & Child. I think I will enjoy this subscription. They featured a few unique toys and some cute books that caught my eye (Pink Me Up and the Boochie game, to name one of each). It's always fun to find new gift and play ideas.

One article in this issue really caught my attention.

Titled, Halving It All, the article featured an interview with Amy and Marc Vachon, developers of a parenting philosophy called Equally Shared Parenting, or ESP. This FASCINATED me. It seems like these parents have truly found an ideal balance.

Paraphrased, ESP means both parents share everything equally. They both spend similar amounts of time with work, kid(s), chores, and whatever else may come their way. In this case, Marc and Amy both stepped back at work and they have an equal role in raising their young child. Marc asked for fewer work days and a slightly lower pay grade. Not an easy task for a man these days, where work, money, and moving up that invisible corporate ladder are looked upon as true measures of "success". But you know what? He is happy. His wife is happy. His child is happy. Doesn't that sound phenomenal?

Being intrigued by this idea and actually being able to do it... now that is another story.

There is no question Steve would stay home with Amelia if I had a job that would keep us at the same standard of living we've come to enjoy. He has none of those overly macho "I am the hunter & gatherer" rules. But I don't have a job like that. I've never had a job like that. Positions of that level are definitely available in my world, but they often come with frequent travel and crazy hours. Not something I'm willing to do at this point in time. And giving up my prominent role in the development of this sweet little girl? Hmmm. That is likely not something my control-freak personality would handle very well. Amelia is my job... right?

So, could Steve and I both take mid-range jobs and work out this ESP thing? I don't know... maybe. Maybe, if we moved to a much smaller city where homes & various necessities didn't cost quite as much. Maybe where there was no state income tax. Maybe, if we tried really, really, really hard. Demolishing those traditional gender roles and taking two pay cuts is quite a frightening thought. I'm not sure we're brave enough.

I applaud the Vachon family who figured this out. And I'll keep this article in my mind for a long time.