If life was like three-year-old art

If only life could mimic three-year-old art every day...

My wish for my daughter?

• May she always live in a world of rainbows and sunshine
• May she always have a hand to hold
• May she always have a smile
• May she always know how much she is loved
• May she always believe in the extraordinary power of family

I really love that kid.

I remember her... and the doughnuts

Over the river and through the woods we traveled, twisting and winding over a mountain until, descending, we felt the telltale rumble of our Chevy tires over nearly-forgotten brick streets.

Up the porch steps we bounded, past the creaky swing and into the 60s/70s style tiled kitchen.

I held in my question through hellos and hugs until the words burst from my mouth, no longer able to be contained, "What are we having for breakfast?"

My mouth watered simply thinking of them. My taste buds readied at high alert, waiting, anxious, so very ready for the warm dough creation that only she knew how to make.

Thoughtfulness was kneaded into the fresh handmade dough. Companionship was leavened as the yeast performed its trick. Excitement and anticipation bubbled as the hot oil began to crackle.

As she scooped out the first strips of golden crispy perfection, my little body danced in the metal chair pushed up to the Formica tabletop. The plate of treasure was placed, steaming, before me and I paused. Waited. Grabbed for the largest piece only once the crown of glimmering sugar rested on the surface.

Hot, melt-in-your-mouth dough.
Sweet dusting of pure sugar.
That was what love tasted like.

I don't even know their real name. She always called them "Polish doughnuts", a nod to her heritage (and a little bit of mine).

I asked for them every single visit.
And she obliged.

Every single time.

"A careful woman" (reminder for moms)

I wish I could say I wrote this, but I did not. I came across it recently and it just stuck. It haunts me in a way, not like a regret or nightmare, but as a guardian angel reminding me to strive for my best:

"The Little One That Follows Me"

(author unknown)

A careful woman, I ought to be;
a little one follows me.
I do not dare to go astray,
for fear they'll go, the self-same way.

I cannot once escape their eyes,
whatever they see me do, they'll try.
Like me, they say, they're going to be,
that little one that follows me.

They think that I am good and fine;
believe in every work of mine.
The bad in me they must not see;
my life to them, must, an example be.

I must remember, as I go,
through summer's sun and winter's snow,
I'm building for the years to be,
for that little one that follows me.

It is not easy to strive for our best every day. Fatigue transforms our amusement into impatience, and impatience chases away our calm voice. No human is perfect; all we can do is try.

But try I will.
I have no other choice.

"I am from.." (a post from #BBCATL & writer's workshop)

I am from homemade cookies, Keds sneakers, and lightning bugs.

I am from the cul-de-sac headquarters of the neighborhood BBQ, where friendly handshakes and childlike giggles paused only for a mom's still-warm and oozing blueberry pie.

I am from the grass, the fresh, crisp softness between asphalt-blackened toes.

I am from beach vacations and open arms, from farmers and coal miners and first-generation college graduates.

I am from the watermelon fights and "I'm sorry" hugs.

From "you can do anything" to "be careful what you say".

I am from Rocky Top and European immigrants, meat and potatoes.

From the playful cousins to the available parents, and the sister so close in age we could share friends as well as clothes.

I am from handmade quilts, memories captured on Kodak slides, and a place that will, within my soul, always be frozen in time.

- - - -
This post was crafted during Bloggy Bootcamp Atlanta. Thanks to MamaKat and Francesca who led the session and found the fantastic original post "Where I'm From" by writer/teacher George Ella Lyon.

Twelve thousand two-hundred days+

I have been around for over 12,210 days. I am 33 years old.

I have viewed lovely places and experienced a few adventures, but I have never…

1. Eaten food at Taco Bell

2. Traveled great distances by train

3. Jumped from an airplane

4. Been a dog owner

5. Hugged a boa constrictor

6. Worn a leather jumpsuit

(but this one can be yours for only $755 at Nieman Marcus)

7. Been struck by lightning

8. Eaten snails

9. Gone hang-gliding

10. Broken a bone

11. Visited Paris

12. Shaved my head

13. Watched a Disney movie in Minnesota

14. Burped my ABCs

15. Grown taller than 5’ 4”

16. Performed in a real circus

(only the preschool one when I was four)

17. Tickled an iguana

18. Soaked up sunshine in Tahiti

19. Visited Pinetrest.com

(but I guess I’d better check it out…)

20. Totaled a car

21. Climbed to the top of a palm tree

And #22…

I have never, ever lost an ounce of love for these two people:

I would give up all my wishes and past experiences for them.

 - - - -

Writing prompt from Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop! Join in next week!

Sand castle masterpieces... and memories too!

On our way to our beach vacation last week, Amelia was jittery with anticipation.

"Mommy! Look behind us and see if Grandma & Granddad are back there."

I explained (as best as I could to a three-year-old), that Grandma and Granddad were coming from a different direction and we'd meet them at the beach house.

6 minutes later...

"Mommy! Look behind us... NOW are Grandma & Granddad back there?"

- - -

Family beach trip 2011 may have been the best one yet. Amelia was at the perfect age to stay out on the sand digging, running, and building castles. She enjoyed the ocean with little trepidation, giggling as waves splashed against her legs. She happily munched crackers and grapes as her feet swung back in forth from the rainbow beach chair. She chattered and smiled. And she bossed around the six adoring adults who were there, seemingly, just to watch HER play.

And this year? We came together as a family team, once again, to build the best sand castles on the beach. One castle per day, growing larger each day:

Day 1:  The Lagoon Castle

Day 2: The Royal Kingdom

Day 3: Majestic Mountain Castle

Day 4: Mega Castle!

It was fun to build these together as a family. Amelia learned our technique early on, and she even helped for a minute or two. She happily played in and around each castle, and we allowed ourselves a touch of pride when other beach-goers stopped for photos. We brought extra smiles to the beach that week, and solidified some magical memories for ourselves too.

Sand art by Amelia
(c) Sep. 2011

Four steps to HAPPY family travel

My husband and I share a love of travel. We work hard during the week, and often jump in the car for day trips of mini overnights on weekends. Once or twice a year, we jet off on a "big" vacation like the Canadian Rockies, Yellowstone, Maine, or an occasional cruise.

(Still can't believe I climbed a glacier!)

Since having Amelia join our family, we have altered our travel style a bit. But only a bit. We still travel annually and on many weekends. We continue to enjoy grand adventures here, there, and everywhere. However, we keep her needs in mind by shortening any selected hikes, making sure our hotel has a pool, keeping our eyes peeled for playgrounds, and scheduling child-friendly down time.

It used to take me days to plan out our trip needs and pack everything. But these days? I can get us in the car in 30 minutes flat.

Want to know my secret?

After stressing out before many vacations, I finally realized something. I can keep Amelia happy as long as I address four major needs. If you cover your bases on these four questions while packing, you will be sitting pretty. On an airplane or in a car, ready to enjoy that break from home and some extra-special family time.

(1) What if the child gets hungry?
One extremely important key to maintaining a happy child travel companion is this: snacks. I make sure to have a lunch tote or backpack full of snack options. Goldfish crackers, fruit snacks, granola bars, and yogurt raisins are some of our favorites. I always throw in a special treat as well - something she doesn't get very often, like M&Ms or Skittles. And I save those, snuggled down in the bag, until I she really needs a pick-me-up.

(2) What if the child gets bored?
Long car or airplane trips can be boring for adults, and they are torture for active preschoolers like mine. I always pack several entertainment items, such as coloring books with crayons, an egg of silly putty, books, a favorite toy, and/or stuffed animals or dolls. I have also found that the $1 store can work miracles in this type of packing situation. Five bucks at the dollar store means five activity surprises for your tiny travel partner. And just like the special treat, hide these in the bottom of the goody bag and dispense one at a time as needed. A brand new toy goes a long way towards entertainment. (One note: If you are headed for airplane travel, avoid any toys that make noise! The people sitting in front of your child will thank you.)

(3) What if the child needs to go potty?
This is a crucial part of the trip planning. If your little traveler is in diapers, then just make sure you have at least double the amount of diapers you would normally need during the travel time frame - and several extra outfits. Excess is good here, because you will inevitably face blow-outs or leaks when you least expect it.

If you have a potty-trained preschooler like I do, be aware (as in, never-ending high alert) of any and all bathrooms nearby. Similar to the diaper blow-outs, your child will most certainly beg to go potty once you've passed every available facility for miles. On a road trip, try to stick to roads that have plentiful gas stations, fast food restaurants, or hotels. For air travel, be aware of your flight time and get that child in the bathroom right before the captain requires you in your seat for the 30-minute approach and landing procedure. Fitting both of you in an airplane bathroom is an adventure in itself... but it is optimal compared to having to explain to a flight attendant why your child's seat is now soaked.

(4) What if the child gets tired?
This is the point we had to focus on the most. We enjoyed many active child-free vacations in our early-married days, but these often do not translate well to child-friendly adventures. Before we commit to any hiking trails or outdoor excursions, we have to put ourselves in Amelia's size-11 (and glittery) shoes. Can she walk that far? Is it possible to bring a stroller? Is there a height/age requirement for the activity? We have put some of our favorite excursions aside for now, but it is a sacrifice we are willing to take just to have her at our sides. She experiences new things with such shine and wonder in her eyes - and that is a sight I never want to miss.

Now I am ready for our next big trip!

How about you? Where do you want to take your family?

Magic moments happen every day

Sharing some of my favorite magic moments.

When you have an awesome little kid in your life, magic moments happen every day!

Magic is... First baby snuggles

Magic is... Joy in discovering a brand new furry friend



Magic is... Family playtime (Amelia's cousin Kate!)



Magic is... Lifelong friends, and a new generation

Magic is... Meeting childhood heroes

For the "what if's" in life...

As parents, we do everything we can to protect our children. We hold their hands in parking lots, look both ways and back again when crossing a street, and strap them securely in their car seats.

We want to protect their little bodies, so we encourage them to eat healthy and exercise.


There is one really important thing that many of us forget... and that's emergency planning. Where will your family meet up if something were to happen in your city? Where is your safe outdoor spot if the fire alarms go off? Who will care for your children if something were to happen to you?

Even though it was a difficult conversation, my husband and I have drafted a will. We decided who will take Amelia in the event both of us are gone. We determined how our money would be saved and distributed to cover her needs as she grows up. And we bought life insurance.

Life insurance will allow either one of us to pay the home mortgage in full if the other passes away. It ensures that our medical/funeral expenses will be covered. It gives us the peace of mind knowing that Amelia will be taken care of, and we will not leave a financial burden on any loved ones.

Not sure where to start? Genworth Financial has a comprehensive and helpful website with answers to many common questions.

What is Life Insurance?
How do I calculate the amount I need?
How do I talk to loved ones about life insurance?

Take a look, then start that conversation. Because our children are worth it.

- - -

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago.
The second best time is today.

- - -

This post sponsored by Genworth Financial. I was compensated, but all opinions are 100% mine.

They never say "I can't"

An ant never believes that it is too little.

An ant never says “that’s too big”.

When an ant has a massive task ahead, he marches forward. He relies on friends, family, and neighbors. He is not afraid to seek their help. And together, this army of ants becomes powerful. They build higher and higher and higher, until the anthill rises far above their little heads.

Whenever we are in times of need, with tasks ahead that seem too big to bear, we should be more like ants. Not afraid to reach out to others; not embarrassed to ask for help. Despite life’s letdowns and looming obstacles, we can band together with loved ones and march forward.

We are about five hundred times larger than ants… just imagine what we can do.
Together.

- - -

We could all use this lesson now and then. But today, I post in honor of a close loved one who is facing what feels like an impassible hurdle. She is not too small, nor is she ever alone. Together, we will lift her up - and over. XOXOXO

Just another Southern night

Lightnin’ bugs and root beer floats,

    Rockin’ chairs and music notes.

Friends and neighbors chatting bright,

    Just another southern night.

Eyelids heavy, mama’s hand in mine,

    It is time for bed, and that’s just fine.

For nothing else could feel so right,

    Just another southern night.

Remorse - and forgiveness?

This week's Red Wrtiting Hood prompt (via the Red Dress Club) asked us to revisit a former post and give it an overhaul:

"Go back in the archives and pick a fiction or nonfiction piece. Perhaps something you posted on your blog, or an old Red Dress Club prompt? Find something that you're proud of, but something you haven't read for awhile. Do a complete overhaul. Change the point of view. Write it from a different perspective. Try dialogue. Make it a narrative. Play with tense or organizational structure. You know, kill those babies. Oh, and by the way? Trim it down to 400 words or less."

I revised my first blog fiction piece, titled "Runaway". It's a story of remorse and the hope for forgiveness. The original can be found HERE.

RUNAWAY (take two)

The sun emerges above the horizon; her aching body begins to wake. Her ears heed the cacophony of sounds: humming car engines, squeaking brakes, rubber tires hugging the bridge deck above. A groan from her own lips, as she wills her miserable body to a sitting position. Grimy blankets are tossed aside. She is thankful for the greening of the trees and the hearty sprouts of wild daffodils. Never again will she take for granted the warmth of spring. Struggling to run her fingers through her matted hair, she reflects on the path ahead. How slowly will the hours pass? Will her abused sneakers survive the - hopefully final - journey? Her stomach gurgles… will she get to eat?

Perhaps today will bring the miracle she so desperately needs.

She is taking a risk, bringing only what fits in her battered backpack and leaving the rest. Come tonight, if she is forgiven, she will wash away the evidence of a life gone wrong.

“I hope this nightmare ends today,” she mutters as her feet met the sidewalk for the nineteenth day in a row. She whispers to the sky, “Come on God, give me a break. I screwed up, I get it. I’m clean now. You know how much I need this.”
-

The widow wakes, as she has for the past two years, with a heart full of loneliness and a mind full of questions. Where is my daughter? Is she alive? How did it come to this? Her brain understands she is not to blame; she did everything in her power to pull her only child away from the demons of addiction. But with each passing day, guilt prevails over logic.

Determined, she locks away the hurt and pleads for strength. “Please, Lord, help me make it through today. Bless her, wherever she may be.”
-

The younger woman walks. Eats a lunch someone else deemed as trash. With each purposeful step, her future nears.
-

By the time the sky turns to dusk again, the widow is sunk into her 20-year-old easy chair. Television her only companion.

A noise breaks through the fog of loneliness. The doorbell. Startled, but starving for human interaction, the woman shuffles her slippered feet towards the door.
-

Two pairs of weary eyes meet over the threshold. The face outside, a dirt-covered image of remorse. The older woman, at first confused. Then recognition… trembling. She gasps.

“Mom…”, whispers the younger woman. “Mom… I’m home.”

- - - - -

Southerners in the desert

You can find me on Carrie With Children's fantastic blog today!


It's my second feature in her Tuesday Traveler section. Today, I give my tips for exciting family travel in the desert of Arizona. Please CLICK HERE to come by and check it out!

Thankful for my shoes

I received the phone call on a Thursday evening.

One year and one week ago.

"Anne (my sister-in-law) was in an accident. She fell down the ravine."

I lost my breath upon hearing those very first words. I barraged the caller with questions.

"Is she okay? What happens next? What did the doctors say?"

At that moment, we had no answers. We knew that she was removed from the river and airlifted to the nearest trauma center, Mission Hospital in Asheville, North Carolina. We were told to wait. Wait for the next phone call.

My husband was several states away on a business trip. We tried desperately to reach him, to inform him of his sister's catastrophe. I was home alone with a two-year-old. She was tugging on my arm, begging for snack, asking for a movie. She wanted to play. All I could do was sit in shock, willing the phone to ring with good news. I had to talk to someone. I called my parents, desperately trying to hold back tears, and passed along the shocking news.

The next call finally came, and it was not what I wanted to hear. My sister-in-law suffered a severe spinal cord injury and would face the rest of her life paralyzed from the chest down.

My husband was finally on an airplane, headed home. We made plans for an immediate drive to Asheville early the next morning. We made arrangements for my parents to meet us and help with Amelia. On the way, we would stop by the mountain house to gather clothes and toiletries. The hospital stay was going to be a long one.

One glimpse inside the house and the tears stung my eyes. I willed the tears not to fall. Hairbrushes and toothbrushes were placed haphazardly on the bathroom counter. Breakfast dishes sat in the sink with crumbs and traces of syrup. Suitcases were open, a pile of worn clothes sat on the floor. The house told the story of a family who woke up on a regular summer day and rushed out the door for some mountain fun. It shared a tale of happiness, of ignorance, of complete oblivion as to what would come next.

It takes a lot to make me cry. I am, in fact, a master at holding back my emotions. But the shoes...

The shoes broke me. There, in the sunroom, were Anne's cute white flip-flops. Sassy shoes with sparkles on the straps. Summertime shoes. Shoes that showed off happy painted toenails.

Anne will never walk on those shoes again.

 - - - -

I would give anything for this post to be fiction. But it is entirely, heartbreakingly true. 2010 was a painfully difficult year for our entire family. My sweet sister-in-law still struggles daily to learn how to care for herself. My selfless mother-in-law works herself to exhaustion each day, taking care of her eldest daughter's needs. We thought paralysis meant simply not walking, but it is so much more than that. A year has passed and we feel lost in a government system that spends and spends and spends, yet cannot help us. We fight back the urge to ask God why He has forsaken us. We continue to pray and cling to hope that answers will come.

The one thing my sister-in-law will NEVER lose is her family. For the rest of our days, we will be fighting by her side.

  



This week's prompt: Shoes

WW: Golfers vs. Monsters

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

Golfers vs. Monsters
(summertime family fun!)

Family. Country. Nature.

I am grateful for our land of opportunity.

For family.

For nature.

Our holiday weekend was full of firsts. Joy burst from simple moments, and memories were made.

Shucking fresh corn
Grasp, peel, pull, toss.


Learning a new skill from an uncle
Choose, hold, aim, snap.


Catching lightning bugs
Seek, point, reach, scoop. Giggle!


Picking wild blueberries – and blackberries too
Search, select, stretch, pluck. Smile.



Everyday life can be monotonous. Motherhood doesn't come with a lot of verbal thanks. But the rewards are weekends like this.

What did you do this weekend?