Tips for The Terribles

“The Terribles” are different for every kid (and every parent). Some are smacked in the face with terrible twos as early as 19 months. Some don’t see the wrath until 2 ½ or nearly three. Some, thinking they have magically escaped The Terribles altogether, are blindsided with a three-year-old straight out of a Chuckie movie.


My daughter fit in that second category. We suffered a serious case of The Terribles last fall, when she was around 29 months old. And let me tell you, those were three months of pure torture. I did not know what kind of crazy child I raised, and I did not know if I had what it took to continue being a mom.

Now that Amelia is three years (+ a few months) old, I have a solid grip on my parenting. We’re entering the dramatic, cry-about-everything world of a feisty girl, but I’m not scared. I faced The Terribles, and I came out on the other side! Our little family of three is still intact, and happier than ever.

I read my Twitter stream several times a day, and I know some of you are in the dark place right now. I cannot claim to be an expert (goodness knows I’ve failed many, many times), but maybe I have a tip that can help you face the dreaded Terribles.

Tip 1: Consistency, consistency, consistency. This can be a lot harder than it sounds. When you are in the midst of an all-out toddler/preschooler tantrum, panic mode can set in. The temptation to end the shrieking, flailing chaos at your feet is tremendous. But giving in? Is the worst thing you can do. If you said NO, you must stick with it at all costs. Similarly, punishment should be the same every. single. time. I was not physically capable of sitting my child in a timeout chair or even keeping her in her room. My solution? I put myself in timeout. I told her “I cannot listen to this.” I removed myself from the room. She would follow and I would sit, breathing deeply in and out, calming my own body and mind. I did this every time (er, almost… like I said, it’s so hard!). Pretty soon, she realized that she would get no attention from me until she used her words and calmed herself down too.

Tip 2: Do not negotiate or over-explain. Children in tantrums are out of control. They are not able to listen or reason in the heat of the moment. At the start of “The Terribles”, when I allowed panic to set in, I could hear myself talking too much. Trying to explain to her why she had to calm down. Almost begging, giving her this option or that, frantically searching for the magic words to turn off her screams. She simply could not process anything while the emotions were so strong. Once we reached a calm point, I then took the opportunity to explain what happened and why her tantrum response was not acceptable. Usually, I reviewed this information before bed. Kids need boundaries and rules, and they appreciate these discussions. It is important to present the information when they are actually capable of absorbing it.


Tip 3: A calm voice. I admit, I am horrible at this one. If my daughter is a drama queen, it’s because she got it from me. Her tantrums used to send my heart racing. I felt like my blood was literally boiling; sweat would begin to drip. Similar to tip 1 above, when I managed to pull myself together and change the tone of our interaction, her curiosity took over. Tantrums were always quicker to end when I refused to give into the frantic, angry tone.


If you are facing “The Terribles”, feel not alone. Most of us have been there. If I made it through, you can too. Power to the parents!

Summer creativity

Since I am a part-time working mama, my child goes to preschool year-round. She is actively engaged and entertained on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 9:00 to 4:00. The other days? She is all mine. Summer has no effect on our weekly schedule, yet I find myself wanting to spend more time with her. Wanting to create memorable summertime moments.

We splash in the pool, we attack the playground with fervor, we stroll through the woods on our nearby mountain. But when (often, in HOTlanta) the extreme heat and melting humidity are too much to bear? We put our thinking caps on and find some indoor fun.



Some favorite activites we've gotten into so far?

Dance party. We blast her favorite kiddy tunes and dance. To a mom who lives life in black & white, late & early, right & wrong? Dance party is awesome. We throw caution to the wind and act like lunatics. I cannot get enough of her hearty laugh. And boy, does she laugh when mom looks completely nuts.


Art projects. Nothing keeps my daughter entertained more than expressing creativity through art. She colors, paints, glues, and tapes most anything she can get her hands on. Art can be made from anything. Empty paper towel roll? Glue colored pieces of paper all over it for a fancy telescope. Popsicle sticks? Glue a photo across them then cut to separate for a custom photo puzzle. Hit the $1 sections at craft stores and Target for ribbons, wooden paintables, and glitter glue. We've decorated signs and masks and even a birdhouse or two.


Indoor swimming pool - for her toys. I simply fill a large tupperware container with some water, toss in a couple plastic toys and a small bowl or two to act as a raft. Amelia splishes and splashes with the water, making waves for her toys and teaching them how to swim. Sure, the kitchen gets a little wet, but it's only water! Want to get your floor washed? Pour a bit of dish soap into the "pool" - when you clean up the splashes, you can call it mopping too.


Summer definitely keeps me on my toes. Coming up with project after project after project is sometimes tough, but I think it's a lot of fun too.

 

What are you up to this summer? Leave a comment and tell me!

My mind is spinning

Clearly, no one told the "new media" universe about my reluctance towards change. Here I am, on my simple little Blogger blog. I am addicted to my user-friendly Facebook. I have finally figured out Twitter hashtags and Twitter parties.

And now, everyone is trying to change it all.

I should move my blog to Wordpress...

I need to track my Klout...

I am a tribe member and a chief of two different Triberr tribes...

Now, Google+?

I am having a minor heart attack here. Social media is growing faster than my three-year-old!

Keeping up is good for my blog and even better for my real-life advertising/media career. Eventually, the clients will start asking about these things. But the pressure to look smart? Is starting to freak me out. Somebody, please tell the world to sloooooow down.

(At least I know Triberr feels my growing pains. With a nearly 30% membership increase in two weeks, their servers blew up. They will be down for a while as they beef up their systems. Despite the hassle, I have a feeling they are doing a happy dance. Want updates? Follow @Dino_Dogan on Twitter)

What New-new media have you recently joined? Do you have any great tips for the tech-nervous kids like me?

Why I blog (and what's next!)

"So, you have a blog?"

"What do you write about?"

"Why would anyone want to write without getting paid?"

"Why do you blog?" 

Good question.
Seventeen months ago, I blogged because I was feeling stressed and depressed. Being the modern gal that I am, I shunned the old school journal and turned to the computer and a simple site called Blogger to hash out my feelings. Then I figured, I may as well try to get some people to read what I write. Maybe get a comment or two. So I joined Twitter. I publicized blog posts on my Facebook page. Then I made a separate Facebook page for my blog. I did a giveaway or two. I participated in blog hops. I joined a fantastic group called the Georgia Social Media Moms, where we share tips and provide ongoing support for one another.

Somewhere down the line, blogging changed for me.

Yes, I still use blogging as my outlet, to say what I need to say, to put my needs and questions out there in the universe. I continue to blog about my amazing daughter and all the trials, tribulations, and laughter that come from having her in my life. But now, 3MomsIn1.com is more than that. It is also a showcase for occasional creative writing. It is a way to connect with like-minded people with a willingness to share their experiences and memories. It is a method for practicing, and hopefully improving, my writing skills.

As my blog following has grown, I have grown as a blogger.

I am not afraid to insert myself into a Twitter conversation or speak up in a Twitter party because I know my ideas are welcome.

I am not embarrassed to post about my feelings and failures because I know someone out there has been through it too. 

I no longer say, "I have a blog." Instead I announce, "I am a blogger."

My next big step? A blog conference.

When I first heard of blog conferences (and some of the price tags associated with them), I scoffed. A conference? Definitely not something for me. My sporadic reviews and advertising sales don't make up even a sixteenth of what I would need for a "real" income. Nor do I need them to be; that's not what my blog is about. Why would I ever go to a conference?

Now I know why. To meet other bloggers. To grow my skills. To remind myself how to network. To bust the walls of my social anxiety. To have some time away from home with people I can identify with. To be something more than "mommy".

I will be attending Bloggy Boot Camp Atlanta in late October, and I am beyond excited! I know some of the sessions won't apply to my casual blogging style, but they will be interesting nonetheless. I can't wait to meet the other bloggers in attendance. BBC Atlanta is going to be a great first conference, especially given my shyness/anxiety issues when I'm looking real life head-on. BBC uses an assigned seating approach that changes periodically, so we are never stuck sitting quietly on the edge of a clique of BFFs.

And it's in Atlanta, so I can come home to kiss my sleeping little girl before crashing in my own familiar bed.

Bloggers, why do you blog?

Anyone else going to BBC Atlanta?

**What this blog needs? More comments! Don't be shy! **

Kids are funny

Amelia's three-year-old mind is bursting with creativity. Her art projects are colorful and detailed, and her made-up songs are getting better every day.

Last night, in a (successful) attempt to stall bedtime, she decided to perform. Here is one of my favorite Amelia originals:

"Carpet Carpet, Don't Ya Know"


I am beginning to think my advertising background is coming through. She could write a pretty catchy jingle! Carpet companies... email me for her rates.

Family. Country. Nature.

I am grateful for our land of opportunity.

For family.

For nature.

Our holiday weekend was full of firsts. Joy burst from simple moments, and memories were made.

Shucking fresh corn
Grasp, peel, pull, toss.


Learning a new skill from an uncle
Choose, hold, aim, snap.


Catching lightning bugs
Seek, point, reach, scoop. Giggle!


Picking wild blueberries – and blackberries too
Search, select, stretch, pluck. Smile.



Everyday life can be monotonous. Motherhood doesn't come with a lot of verbal thanks. But the rewards are weekends like this.

What did you do this weekend?

Lookin' Good! New hair & a new vlog

A new vlog!
See how a sponsored/guest post made me take action:




Read the post that inspired my change HERE

In the Atlanta area?
Want to know who transformed my hair?
Email me!