I could not be happier that it's Friday tomorrow. This week has chewed me up & spit me out a few times over.
Breathe....
Breathe....
Breathe....
Ahhhhh. Better. So here's the recap.
The working mommy in me definitely gets an A+. We're preparing for a new media presentation to a client next week and I'm in super time crunch mode. But multiple disasters have managed to occur with other clients at the exact same time. Clients who have needed nothing for the past month have managed to explode all over my desk the exact week I have no extra time. These are the kind of weeks where I desperately need to put in 40 hours, but I only have a third of that to give. If I'm lucky. And lucky is out of my control - it's all about Amelia. And if she's playing nice that day.
The happy mommy squeaks by with a C-. All this stress is making me short-tempered. Amelia's no nap day had me exhausted and incredibly frustrated, and I know I pushed her needs aside more than I should have. That does not make me happy at all. It makes me feel guilty and extremely flawed as a mom. The only reason I don't get a big fat 'F' here is because I'm holding on to a little bit of pride that I'm actually in a relationship with the elliptical again. It's only been a few days and I still hate every second of it, but I like that I'm taking charge of my energy level (it does help!) and hopefully the lovely squish around my middle too.
The perfect mommy is in a struggle. I have the opportunity for a long weekend in the Caribbean with my sister. No husband, no kiddo, no work. Part of me (the happy mom) is beyond excited about this idea. Three nights with no responsibility? Waterfront dinners without a highchair, toys, and fruit snacks? A no-brainer, right? Yeah, if only it weren't for this perfect mommy part of me, the one with the biggest attitude and loudest voice of them all, prodding me to give up on my fun and stick with my girl.
"Why spend that money on yourself?" she says.
"What if she gets upset that you're gone?" she says.
Thinking of this trip actually makes me want to cry.
Is my attachment abnormal?
Or "perfect"?
So I ask... what would a perfect mommy do?
Thursday, January 28, 2010
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5 comments:
There's no such thing as a perfect mommy! But sometimes we need a chance to reset...it allows us to think clearly and regain energy! Good luck with your decision!
I totally agree. Check out my ramblings of my first post. I think we all put too much pressure on ourselves. My brain knows this... but I still find myself trying to everything "perfectly" for my girl. Thanks for the comment - and for following! :)
I say go for the trip. My husband and I are leaving the girls with my parents for a week (only a week away) for our caribbean cruise. I thought, when we booked the cruise, that "Oh, they'll be 21months old by then. They won't be babies anymore. I will probably be psyched to get away from them for a week." But you know what? They still seem like babies. I am terrified they will either 1. Cry for me the whole week, or 2. Not even notice I am gone and be scared of me when I return. Not sure which would be worse. But one thing I am doing (so that #2 doesn't happen) is I am making a video of myself reading a few books, that my parents will play for them every night. (This may lead to situation #1 happening, but if so, I have already given my parents permission not to show it to them again.). You deserve a little relaxation. A happy mommy makes a happy baby, right???
--Julie (from the ivillage boards)
Hi Julie - Great idea. And my trip is booked I will be going! My sister is really excited. She has no kids yet, but works A LOT. So she needs the break too. I told her I may be a wreck at first, but I think I'll be OK once I adjust. And yes, Happy Mommy deserves to be made front & center sometimes too. It'll help Perfect Mommy do a better job! :)
GO GO GO!!! You will have a blast and it will do you & Amelia and world of good. No one likes to be with the same person all the time right? I know I don't like to be with my Ryan all the time (& I am not ashamed to admit it). I took a weekend getaway for 24 hours this past weekend and it did me worlds of good. Mike and I went away overnight in June 09 and left Ryan for the 1st time. It was FANTASTIC! He did great too. We have to put ourselves first sometimes. We are still people too, not just mommies. I tell myself that all the time. You will have so much fun and Amelia will do great too. Everyone deserves a break! Go for it!
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